August 2nd 2016:
It was two days before my 18th birthday. The wind was whipping sea salt into my hair and my feet were submerged in sand when you told me you couldn’t do another year. Of being together, apart. I stared at the ocean and longed to be a fish so I could dive fathoms below into a world where distance wasn’t something to be scared of. At 11:11 later that night, I wished to be whole again.
September 9th 2016:
You asked me how New York was. I typed out four different responses but deleted all of them and settled on silence. I prefer the conversations in my head where only the ghosts of your old messages reply.
November 14th 2015:
“I am crazy in love with you. At a time when I’m thinking about the future and how important it is, I can’t picture mine without you.”
September 25th 2016:
It’s 2:30 am and I can’t stop looking at the pictures from France. Do you think about me? Do you regret what you’ve done to me? Do you even know what you’ve done to me? I wonder what my tarot cards would say about me now.
October 10th 2015:
“Maybe I’m young and in love and crazy about you but I think we really have something amazing.”
October 10th 2016:
I went home for a weekend and decided to clean my room but you were everywhere. My box of you is growing into a vicious monster with teeth. I shoved it under my bed but it bit my ankles when I slept. I moved it up to the attic and put it next to the Halloween decorations.
May 5th 2016:
“It was just 11:11 so I made a wish, and I know I can’t tell you because then it won’t come true, but it was about us so I just wanted to mention it.”
November 30th 2016:
I saw the back of your head at my favorite restaurant and the world shifted beneath me. I hyperventilated in my car for 12 minutes afterward. I was mostly upset because I had caught myself in a lie; my internal mantra of “it’s fine, we are friends now” was revealed to be false on all accounts.
December 7th 2016:
“I love you to all the universes and back.”
December 3rd 2016:
I miss laughing together and all the comedy specials we’d watch. You’d hug me close and when you’d laugh, it would echo in my ear. When I concentrate, I can still hear it but it doesn’t hurt anymore. It doesn’t hurt so much when I think about you at all.
May 11th 2015:
“I was just wondering what you think about us? I know I’m going away to college in September but I do really like you and I think we should give it a shot (even though I don’t really know what that means), what do you think?”
January 18th 2017:
Our song came on the radio at work today. It made me smile. Thank you for cutting the rope that would’ve strangled me once I jumped into my new life, it was for the best. At 11:11, I wished that you were happy.
childs play 