childs play

“Oh no, you can’t respond to his text yet, you have to wait at least 30 minutes.” Right, because that makes sense. You wouldn’t want the boy that you like to think that you like him. Being cool has always been something to strive after (there has, and always will be, an “In” crowd) but in our current times, with the interference of technology, it has reached the point of being recognized as an art form. Teens are striving to rid the stench of desperation by acting as unphased and emotionally detached as possible.

Not only is distancing yourself from your emotions difficult to do, that highly-sought-after vibe of nonchalance directly grapples with normal, human behavior. These bland and fake projections some people are desperately trying to portray contradict something that we just cannot change–we are emotionally complex human beings.

I understand that people don’t put themselves out there out of fear of appearing too eager or getting hurt. So instead, some either wait what they think is the appropriate amount of time to appear casual and then respond, or answer with vague and overworked answers that are crafted in the hopes of appearing unbothered. (Is that lowercase “o” in your ‘okay’ really gunna project the easygoing vibe that you want it to?)

If we are constantly pretending not to feel and prancing around what we want to say instead of actually saying it, we become a bunch of emotionally and physically mute zombies getting nothing accomplished. I understand that putting yourself out there is risky, but isn’t not saying what you feel as big of a risk too? If you never say what you truly wish to, you’re demeaning your own thoughts and character.

I am sick and tired of this textual, masquerade dance in which we engage. After one incident last year that involved a lot of tissues, an appalling amount of chocolate, and an obvious silence from the boy I liked, I vowed to take more control over the communication in my life. When I wish to talk to someone, I now make an effort to talk to them and say what I want to say. Instead of shrugging off my feelings and pretending like I don’t care, I now have more control over my communication. This seems like an incredibly obvious thing to do (John Mayer has been preaching for us to “say what you need to say” since 2006) but before the night of the chocolate-induced coma, the sheer thought of texting someone first, possibly bothering them, sent my psyche into a downward spiral of anguish. Reaching out to someone can seem bold and scary but we deserve for our words to have value and we should respect ourselves enough to demand to be heard.

So much effort is spent in trying to not be desperate, when, in reality, our desperation is a representation of our pure and honest selves and needs to be held in a higher regard. With these pure and unadulterated actions, we show who we are, what we’re actually feeling. These moments are honest glimpses inside our brains to observe our emotions acting without inhibitions.

When he texts you and you want to answer him, don’t count to a certain number of appropriate minutes before replying–just answer. When your partner in a group project goes AWOL, text them to make sure their work gets done. If you have something you want to say, don’t wait for others to initiate–start the conversation yourself.

Be bold in your conversational habits because you deserve to have the upper hand in all your communication. No one should influence your voice and if you feel the urge to speak, pull out your metaphorical megaphone and declare your thoughts. Say what is on your mind and be as unapologetically bold as need be, because we owe it to ourselves to make our voices be heard.

My life has been shaped by strong women: my mother, a vivacious and loving woman who consistently amazes me with her perseverance; my sister, a bold young woman who refuses to let others enforce limitations on her life; Taylor Swift, a talented woman who globally empowers girls by being herself. Some have affected my life more directly than others, but nevertheless, I would not be who I am today if not for the fierce women who have influenced my life. (Swift’s “Fearless” single-handedly helped me get through middle school.)

Observing these powerful women, I found one common thread in the way they live their lives. They make their surroundings fit to them; they do not concede to the boundaries others have created. Instead, they shape the environment around them so they can accomplish their goals. They are goddesses, uninhibited by restrictions.

Knowing this, I try my best to live my life as powerfully as they live theirs. I write opinion columns, and even though they have a very low readership (like abysmally low), I still speak my truths and feel good for doing so. When I want to sing Taylor Swift, I blast “Blank Space” and scream it as loud as I can, much to my father’s dismay. And when I wanted to create my own magazine, I made my own independent study and was able to accomplish that goal. And then I did it again.

For this shoot I focused on showcasing the power of a female and her ability to control her surroundings. Because when a strong woman has something set in her mind, she will stop at nothing until that goal is accomplished.